Five Other Status Messages You Might Have Missed In The Past Week
5.  There is also no "I" in drunk but I am about to rectify that immediately.
4.  I love to request "Tiny Dancer" when the midget stripper gets on stage
3.  My dick is called Hide and Seek because ready or not here it comes.
2.  TEIAM=Problem solved
1.  The only proof I need is about 80

Parties Are Piling Up!!!  See when you get a great party scene going...everybody wants to get in on the craze and keep the train rollin.  We got a great bunch of hosts that we work with to bring great fun swinging experiences to Middle Tennessee and the parties we got planned will not disappoint.  New to the party schedule we've added an "Everybody Gets Laid" Party for October 18...We're the only group with balls enough to do two...count em two Halloween parties..wait a minute that means I have to get made up twice...Hey Brandy I didn't make the deal for this.  October 25th and November 1st.   Have you ever seen a pornament tree?  Well hit the Naughtylist Let's Put the "X" in Xmas party in Springfield on December 6th and we are dilligently working on a very special memorable New Years Eve party that I know you won't want to miss.  Are you ready to get Carnalized?  Coming up New Year's Eve we are excited to roll out a very wild party.  So come check all of our parties out...in addition to all the fun  we working on securing some pretty cool door prizes and grand prizes to all of these events.  Keep reading for more details.

A man notices his thirteen-year-old son has been walking around for a week with a hard-on in his pants, and figures the boy needs some relief. He gives the kid twenty dollars and says: "Take this to the whorehouse at the other end of town, and have some fun."
Well, the whorehouse is a good hour walk each way, but the boy returns in only 45 minutes. The father says: "where were you?"
"Well," says the boy, "when I walked by Grandma's house she asked where I was going and I told her. She said, 'why don't you just come in here instead, and I'll do you for free.' So that's what I did."
The father, outraged, screams: "Are you telling me you fucked my MOTHER?"
"What's the big deal," says the boy, "you Fuck mine!"

******EVERYBODY GETS LAID PARTY****** Saturday October 18th Nashville TN
Otherwise known as a let's get in a pile orgy party.  Saturday night October 18th Victoria and Jon provide the space, You bring your body and come play.  Bring a 2 liter or bag of chips to share with the other participating swingers (Cause you know we'll work up an appetite) and let's wear everybody out and send em home with a smile on their face.  Couples and single ladies only for this one....Single males will be invited based on the number of single ladies in attendance to make sure we have equal numbers.  Sign up in the event section. or email us at naughtywildcpltn@gmail.comfor more details


Jokes From The Phone
What do you call a Chinese pedophile?
Fuk Em Yung

What's green, smells awful and gets lots of sex?
Beats me.  I just found it decaying in an underpass

What do Muslims and a tornado have in common?
You only need one to fuck up a whole neighborhood

What's the lightest thing in the world?
A penis.  Even a thought can raise it

Why is it good for young boys to read Playboy and Penthouse?
It improves hand-eye coordination.

*****Totally Free Naughty List Swingers Halloween Houseparty Saturday October 25th Nashville TN 7:00
Normally I don't dress up for Halloween but this time Brandy kept begging and begging until I gave in and said ok.  Then she took over and said that she will decide on what I get to dress up as.  I really don't know why I agreed but I did.  Within 30 seconds she jumps online and has everything ordered to dress me up as yep you got it....a woman.  So I'm hoping that there are a bunch of others that are going to be in Halloween costume so I don't stick out like a disgruntled female.  We'll give away some pretty cool prizes to those that win the best costume male, best costume female.  We're making up a batch of drunk gummies (they're soaking now btw) and I understand there's Lil Red Riding Hood Jello Shots.  The party is free.Saturday night October 25th.  Sign up on the event listing for details or email naughtywildcpltn@gmail.com

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon. Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation."
He continues, "Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earline got pregnant."
"Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earline got pregnant again."
"Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earline didn't get pregnant again."
Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"
Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earline with me."

****Hedonistic Halloween Saturday November 1st Westmoreland TN 7:00****
So does your swinger party life need lifted out of a graveyard?  Do you get an eerie feeling that you're gonna miss one of the best swinger parties of the year?  Hooked on the ghosts and goblins past Halloweens?  Well don't be scared come out and participate in one of the best Halloween parties ever...Hedonistic Halloween.  Saturday November 1st Westmoreland TN.  We'll continue what we started the previous Saturday but we'll turn it up a notch.  There'll be a dance area.  We'll not only provide prizes for the best costume as well as the best original made costumes.  Several other contests as well.  So quit partying with the zombies...come party with some real sex freaks.  It's not Halloween unless it's Hedonistic Saturday night November 1st.  Sign up on the event listing or email us for the details

A young man is being pursued by a young admiring woman. Eventually, he has no choice but to give in.
Relentlessly she asks him for a quickie in the sack though he tried hard to refuse her. Finally giving in to her demands for carnal knowledge, he says "Ok, but there is one condition: I have a particular fetish that you must perform in order to sleep with me."
"I'll do anything for you" replies the woman. "Just name it."
So the man says to the woman, "You know ... I really enjoy it when there's a sort of lightning effect. So you must reach over to that switch on the wall and flick it on and off every few seconds."
The woman agrees and starts flicking the light switch off with her left arm. She then asks "Now can I fuck you?"
"Not quite yet" replies the man. "Lightning is nice, but it doesn't really mean much without thunder. So with your right leg, I want you to open and close the cabinet door whenever you flick the light on."
"Ok" says the horny young maid, and she begins to coordinate her flicks and clacks. "Now can I fuck you?" she asks as she is switching between arm and leg movements.
"Not quite yet" replies the man. "This is all very nice, but there can't really be thunder and lightning without wind. I'd like you to reach behind your head with your right hand and open and shut the windows."
She says "Ok" and begins opening the shutter and closing it with her right hand. And of course, it's raining and some drops are coming in the window.
So there she is, making lightning with her left hand, creating thunder with her right leg, and using her right hand to make wind and rain. Desperate and beyond understanding of his fetish, the young woman finally begs him "NOW can we fuck? PLEASE?!"
And the young man looks at her shocked and says, "What do you mean 'have sex'? In this weather?"

Dear Corruptor,
I don't guess I have to tell you what list you made yet again this year.  See how it's supposed to work is at the beginning of each new year, I give you a fresh start.  But it doesn't take you hours, nor minutes but mere seconds to move yourself on the NaughtyList each and every year.  I got to hand it to you, you've revived our sex life here at the North Pole.  Because of your parties, Mrs Claus decided she wanted to give swinging a try and so what the hell I gave in.  We called our good buddies the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny in and had a great time swapping with them.  You shouldve seen that bunny go...Damn...Almost ran into a problem though as the reindeer found out that a bunny rabbit fucked the Misses and they got a little upset. But it's all good Tooth Fairy took care of em...I feel though that I'm leaving someone out...oh well just a small problem if I ever figure out what it was I'm sure.  Anyrate back to you.  So you're wanting to throw another Let's Put The "X" in Xmas party in Springfield Saturday night December 6th.  Who am I to stop you?  Heck we may throw a little swinger party up here on my pole..er North Pole.  So yes once again you have my blessing.  Hope you have a great party and since I'll still stop by your house on Christmas don't forget to leave the milk, cookies and porn out for me
Your buddy (secret don't let this get out)
Santa
Saturday night December 6th It's the Let's Put the X in Xmas Party.  We'll play Naughty Dirty Santa.  So bring an adult oriented gift (Porn DVD's, Liquor, Toys, Lubes etc nothing too expensive) if you want to participate in the game.  Come check out the pornaments on the tree and let's celebrate the holiday season. It's our annual Naughty List Christmas Party and we're throwing it early December the 6th just before the Christmas Burnout Season starts the week after.  So get your covered dishes ready, bring the gift for the Naughty Dirty Santa game and come party with us Saturday December 6 in Springfield. 

Hope to see you at all the upcoming parties
Keith and Brandy

Top Ten Status Messages You May Have Missed This Past Week September 28th 2014
10.  Disposing of a dead Christmas tree is always a little traumatic for the kids.  I may have overdone it with the chalk outline and coroner
9.  My kids think a filthy whore is someone who pulls out in front of me while driving
8.  If American throw rice at weddings, do Chinese throw hot dogs?
7.  Sex is a bit like parking a car.  Every now and then when nobody is looking, I slip it in a disabled one.
6.  New Pickup Line: Are you spaghetti?  Cause I want you to meat my balls
5. Just because you CAN take a selfie, doesn't mean you should.
4.  I impress people by telling them I'm involved with drugs and have different people in my bed daily.  I don't tell them I'm a Doctor though.
3.  The lesson to be learned here is if you're ever in an elevator with Ray Rice, don't tell him you want to go down
2.  There was no toilet paper but my wife left her copy of Woman's Day in there.  I couldn't use it though .  It was already full of shit.
1.  Many said I couldn't crossbreed peacocks and flamingos, yet here I stand today with my beloved flaming cocks as an inspiriation to our youth