Monday, March 29, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Corruptor's Insane Asylum and Swinger Scene
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Thursday, March 25, 2010
Alternation X Joke Of The Day
Roy an undertaker recently came home with a black eye.
"What happened to you?" asked his wife
"I had a terrible day." replied Roy I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."
"I see" said his wife "but how did you get the black eye?"
Roy replied "Wrong room"
"What happened to you?" asked his wife
"I had a terrible day." replied Roy I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge erection. So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half."
"I see" said his wife "but how did you get the black eye?"
Roy replied "Wrong room"
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Alternation X Joke Of The Day-Irish Style
A drunken Irishman gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes later, another loud scream reverberates throughout the bar. The bartender goes to the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming.
"What's all the screaming about in there"? "You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I flush something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls!"
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says....."You idiot--You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
Paddy was walking through a graveyard when he came across a headstone with the inscription "Here lies a politician and an honest man."
"Faith now," exclaimed Paddy, "I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave."
Paddy and Murphy were walking past the local police station when they saw a sign saying "SCOTTISH RAPIST WANTED".
Paddy turns to Murphy and says, "Aye, but don't the Scots get all the good jobs!"
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
\She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun!'"
"What's all the screaming about in there"? "You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I flush something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls!"
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says....."You idiot--You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
Paddy was walking through a graveyard when he came across a headstone with the inscription "Here lies a politician and an honest man."
"Faith now," exclaimed Paddy, "I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave."
Paddy and Murphy were walking past the local police station when they saw a sign saying "SCOTTISH RAPIST WANTED".
Paddy turns to Murphy and says, "Aye, but don't the Scots get all the good jobs!"
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady's after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
\She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun!'"
Friday, March 12, 2010
Alternation X Joke Of The Day
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.
"Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man even leaves.
Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.
"Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.
The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Alternation X Joke Of The Day
A Hilarious Mail from a frustrated victim of chain mails
I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also.......
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc…..
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo...
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.... (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)
* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.
* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.
* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh , Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)
NOW IMPORTANT NOTE :
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm.
Nothing has happened till now......... ......... ..... But who knows. So please forward.
I wanted to thank all my friends and family who have forwarded chain letters to me in 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 and continuing it in 2009 also.......
Because of your kindness:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* Forwarded hundreds of mails but still waiting for FREE DESKTOP, LAPTOP, CAMERA, CELLPHONE etc…..
* I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer...
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill with calls to Uganda, Pakistan, Singapore and Tokyo...
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a Can for fear that I will get sick from the rat faeces and urine.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times.... (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993...)
* Still open to help somebody from Nigeria who wants to use my account to transfer his uncle's property of $ 100 million. So much trustworthy.
* I have forwarded 35 emails to 400 people hoping that Ericsson or Nokia will send me latest mobile phones but those models are also obsolete now.
* Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Ganesh , Tirupathi Balaji pics etc. Now most of those 'Wishes' are already married (to someone else)
NOW IMPORTANT NOTE :
If you do not send this e-mail to at least 11,246 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will Pee on your head today at 6:30pm.
Nothing has happened till now......... ......... ..... But who knows. So please forward.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
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