Three less than intelligent men, Walt, Elmer and Stan, went hunting
in a remote forest. As one of them was crossing a fallen log, he
tripped, dropped his rifle and shot himself. The other two ran
quickly to their unconscious friend and saw that his chest was
covered with blood. Walt turned to Stan and said, "We got to get
Elmer to the hospital quick or he's gonna die."
"How are we gonna carry him?" Stan asked. "Why he weighs a good two
hundred fifty pounds."
"Hell Stan! That ain't nothing," assured Walt. "We carry bucks out
bigger than that, all the time. We can do it the same way."
Walt was right. In no time, they were pulling their 4x4 up to the
emergency room door and doctors, nurses and orderlies rushed Elmer
inside. A while later, one of the doctors gave the two worried
friends the bad news, "Your friend didn't make it."
Walt said, "Yeah, I thought that gunshot hit him in the heart."
"No," said the doctor. "The bullet actually went above the heart and
through the shoulder. His chest was only covered with blood, but he
might have been able to survive that."
"Damn it Stan, I told you we shouldn't have tied him to the hood.
All them tree branches smacking into him for the first five miles
probably beat him to death!"
"No," said the doctor. "His clothes were ripped to shreds and his
body was covered with lacerations, but he might have been able to
survive that, too."
"See, Walt! I kept telling you to hold your end up higher 'cause
that sapling was too thin. When we tied his hands and legs to it,
his head kept hitting the rocks and logs. And I'm sure he drowned
when we crossed that crick."
"Damn it Stan! You was the one that dropped your end of the pole
when you fell off that rock. Poor old Elmer must have been under
water a whole minute while you was fumbling around with that pole
and falling all over yourself."
"Now fellas," said the doctor. "Elmer's skull was cracked and he did
have massive head injuries. But he didn't drown and he might have
been able to survive that, too."
Stan and Walt looked at each other with puzzled expressions and then
asked the doctor, "Then what was it?"
The doctor thought for a few moments and said, "My guess is that the
way you gutted him had a lot to do with it.
