Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass
Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won at solitare
Only moans at commercial breaks
You are currently sitting backstage at the Springer show
During the act she actually yelled out Oh Baby Yadda Yadda Yadda
Holds up a picture of the Playboy Centerfold to hurry you along
Asks to be on top so she can balance her checkbook better
Bangs her head on the headboard BEFORE you begin
Keeps asking "Are you sure you're not gay"
Instead of asking to leave her shirt on she wants to leave her pants on too
Starts her fake orgasm during foreplay
