Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and A Chief Petty Officer were out riding in a bus coming home from scout summer camp when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of heaven where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen" said the devil "due to the fact that Heaven is now over crowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you are worthy enough to go to Heaven, if not, then you'll come with me to Hell"
The philosopher then stepped up "Okay give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates's teachings With a snap of his finger a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. Then go to Hell! With another snap of the Devil's finger, the philospher disappeared.
The mathematician then asked "Give me the most complicated crypto formula you can think of that could never be deciphered!" With the snap of his finger another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed the code was unbreakable. Then go to Hell! with another snap of the Devil's finger, the mathematician disappeared too.
The Chief Petty Officer then stepped forward and said "Bring Me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair "Drill 7 holes on the seat"
The Devil did just that. The Chief then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up he asked "Which hold did my fart come out of?"
The Devil inspected the seat and said "the third hole from the right."
"Wrong" said the chief "it came out of my asshole."
And the Chief went to heaven
